ellen degeneres can host my funeral
why the hell are toilets so loud?!! like i’m half asleep and then i flush and it’s like a fucking mariachi band just started playing in my house at 3 am
(Source: kelly-kapoor, via ass-paragus)
when your parents ask you to help them with technology
"When someone won’t let you in, eventually you stop knocking."
— Ransom Riggs, Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children (via dylinquent)
(Source: larmoyante, via badtexter)